|
|
Suicide
 Alexander.Jukie
Serveur: Alexander
Game: FFXI
Posts: 690
By Alexander.Jukie 2011-02-17 17:34:05
Ramuh.Vinvv said:
i've dealt with too many drug related hallucinations to worry about my other ones lol.
i was diagnosed bipolar prior to getting into drugs, not that I don't think that it didn't exacerbate my condition.
i used to have sleep paralysis quite often when i stayed at my ex's house and that used to freak the ***out of me...not really the hallucinating part but more the helplessness of not being able to move.
i toyed with lucid dreaming more after i'd regularly used LSD as it opened those doors of perception a bit easier.
i could say that i regret doing some of the stuff i did...but then again i really can't because i don't know what kind of person i would be if i didn't take the course in life i did.
i have a few OCD's as well, but it's not something diagnosed.
my dad is actually diagnosed with a few(some of the typical ones like having to drive 30 miles away to make sure his garage door is closed...multiple times..***like that)
but mine aren't really as quantifiable(from what i know as of yet)
it's just like...i dunno.
if i don't go into a certain pattern of things i have a panic attack, but if i am already mentally prepared to do something differently it doesn't effect me as bad.
so essentially like lets say the other day.
my daily routine would be to go home and chill in the seat i usually sit at near my keyboard and table, the roomates were on the main couch that day and i sat elsewhere..and yeah...made me /freak out a bit.
tried to tolerate it but i felt like a chicken with my head cut off there.
and then my roomates treat me like a weirdo because i'm freaking out about something so small and then i know in the back of the mind that it shouldn't be a big deal.
and then after it's all said and done two hours later when i end up folding and just asking for my seat yeah i don't get myself fully together for a while after that lol.
i'm crazy lol.
i've contemplated suicide a few times as many others have but then my obsessive tendency kicks in with compulsions to get all my ***in order and just make it look like i ran off because i think i could get away with that being /crazy lol.
but my procrastination is a saving grace for me with that stuff because i think the fear of the unknown of doing that is a lot stronger than any feelings of despair that i may have that would cause me to contemplate my own death.
so essentially my anxiety issues...both cause me to freak out and feel the way i do and in the same hand saves me from it lol.
I stayed away from drugs, especially LsD, cos I'd probably see something scary and freak out.
I had the sleep paralysis thing a couple times but because my hallucinations work just as I fall asleep then I don't usually get the paralysis. It's annoying though because my mind isn't rational enough at that point to always realise what's happening. I've almost fallen out of bed before trying to figure out how to breathe. My husband's told me I've woken him screaming before. I've noticed a pattern though. If I'm stressed out generally about something then I tend to get the sleep probs. If I'm ok then they just stop until I'm stressed again.
I've freaked out because of people moving my stuff before. My mum decided that she'd rearrange my bedroom furniture and I just ended up crying whilst ungratefully dragging it all back how it was. I also freak out if say I put effort into how I look, then something bad happens. I dunno if it's because I feel more vulnerable taking that step out of my comfort zone. But yeah it feels like there's all these things stopping me from just living my life.
Sometimes though with the OCD it feels like my brain is trying to purposely push me to think these nasty thoughts. So bad that I have to sing songs in my head or go 'lalalalala' <.<
 Unicorn.Marrs
Serveur: Unicorn
Game: FFXI
Posts: 359
By Unicorn.Marrs 2011-02-17 17:47:31
I can't really hate on suicide people, in the sense of even saying "Do it pussy" or something to that extant. To me its all about you're brain being in a physical condition/state, which in turns alternates your pov, changing from, the constant thought of why would i ever do that, to what is the only way out of this current state.
Suicide like every other type of action of course has its stereotypes, and more so maybe with anything else, especially with kids, its often used as a means of attention, and then these people will lumped in with the ones that actually want to do something to make the pain go away.
I'm not making a case for suicide, just trying to get people to understand the point of view, (which is necessary if you want to help someone out of that state, you can't just tell a real suicide person "stop being QQ emo ***", that won't even make sense to them and if anything you'll end up alienating them in a social sense, which is always usually relatable to the problem).
Someones stabbing your hand with a screw driver, they will for the next 24 hours. You can tell them tomorrow promises ice cream and such, notice how much they don't care about the ice cream, or the obvious sense of optimism around the corner at all really, just whatever makes the pain stop.
 Asura.Tot
Serveur: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 218
By Asura.Tot 2011-02-17 17:50:53
suicide is like a box of chocolates
 Bahamut.Lolserj
Serveur: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3295
By Bahamut.Lolserj 2011-02-17 17:51:41
Asura.Tot said: suicide is like a box of chocolates
u never know what you're going to get? D:
Asura.Tot
Serveur: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 218
By Asura.Tot 2011-02-17 17:55:14
is it ironic that i'm seeing a lumosity ad here?
Alexander.Jukie
Serveur: Alexander
Game: FFXI
Posts: 690
By Alexander.Jukie 2011-02-17 17:57:22
Asura.Tot said: is it ironic that i'm seeing a lumosity ad here?
The advert on my page said 'do something completely out of this world' <.< it's for Eve online though.
 Ramuh.Vinvv
Serveur: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 15542
By Ramuh.Vinvv 2011-02-17 18:00:29
lol I've done that to a few people before.(moved stuff around but on purpose knowing full well)
like someone pisses me off that's ocd with that...i move all furniture and things over a few CM.
Alexander.Jukie
Serveur: Alexander
Game: FFXI
Posts: 690
By Alexander.Jukie 2011-02-17 18:25:29
Ramuh.Vinvv said: lol I've done that to a few people before.(moved stuff around but on purpose knowing full well)
like someone pisses me off that's ocd with that...i move all furniture and things over a few CM.
lol
Bahamut.Dasva
Serveur: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 13835
By Bahamut.Dasva 2011-02-17 18:27:12
Ramuh.Vinvv said: lol I've done that to a few people before.(moved stuff around but on purpose knowing full well) like someone pisses me off that's ocd with that...i move all furniture and things over a few CM. I had a friend that used to have all his pens and pencils aligned perfectly on the desk in the right order exactly so far apart so far from the edge pararell to the edge etc... same with books and such. He freaked out too bad for it to be funny
Ramuh.Vinvv
Serveur: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 15542
By Ramuh.Vinvv 2011-02-17 18:39:35
Bahamut.Dasva said: Ramuh.Vinvv said: lol I've done that to a few people before.(moved stuff around but on purpose knowing full well) like someone pisses me off that's ocd with that...i move all furniture and things over a few CM. I had a friend that used to have all his pens and pencils aligned perfectly on the desk in the right order exactly so far apart so far from the edge pararell to the edge etc... same with books and such. He freaked out too bad for it to be funny I did that kind of stuff, but I rotate between being all into ***ymetrical/symmetrical things.
Bahamut.Dasva
Serveur: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 13835
By Bahamut.Dasva 2011-02-17 18:42:11
Ramuh.Vinvv said: Bahamut.Dasva said: Ramuh.Vinvv said: lol I've done that to a few people before.(moved stuff around but on purpose knowing full well) like someone pisses me off that's ocd with that...i move all furniture and things over a few CM. I had a friend that used to have all his pens and pencils aligned perfectly on the desk in the right order exactly so far apart so far from the edge pararell to the edge etc... same with books and such. He freaked out too bad for it to be funny I did that kind of stuff, but I rotate between being all into ***ymetrical/symmetrical things. Would you freak out if someone poked one of them?
Ramuh.Vinvv
Serveur: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 15542
By Ramuh.Vinvv 2011-02-17 18:49:15
Bahamut.Dasva said: Ramuh.Vinvv said: Bahamut.Dasva said: Ramuh.Vinvv said: lol I've done that to a few people before.(moved stuff around but on purpose knowing full well) like someone pisses me off that's ocd with that...i move all furniture and things over a few CM. I had a friend that used to have all his pens and pencils aligned perfectly on the desk in the right order exactly so far apart so far from the edge pararell to the edge etc... same with books and such. He freaked out too bad for it to be funny I did that kind of stuff, but I rotate between being all into ***ymetrical/symmetrical things. Would you freak out if someone poked one of them? I would just move it back when they weren't looking.
I set up those type of defense mechanisms.
I either do that or i /blank slate.
I'm a all or nothing kind of guy when it comes to that stuff, or at least I like to think I am at times.
 Quetzalcoatl.Pyroelf
Serveur: Quetzalcoatl
Game: FFXI
Posts: 331
By Quetzalcoatl.Pyroelf 2011-02-17 19:43:04
Ragnarok.Slade said: a friend's friend committed suicide by sitting in the forest in freezing temperature and set off illegal fireworks in his mouth. reports say he didn't die from the blast of the fireworks but he died from bleeding to death :S although I first thought it was murder but they found some stuff like goodbye letters from him that he send to people.
my friend says he was perfectly normal from the outside, just like any of us. but in the inside he was totally messed up apparently. there is no way to know unless the person willing to commit suicide sends off obvious signals to other people, but then again people that do that are most likely just attention whoring.
Only went halfway through the thread before I got tired of reading, but I just got to comment...
Before anything else, my opinion is shits situational- suffering illness with no chance of recovery? Fine by me. Doin it for attention or girl dumped ya? Selfish, cowardly. Triggered by something mental? Well, that's a different category of its own. I think most of the common suicides that are preventable are pointless, cowardly and selfish because it isn't about embracing the unknown, its about *** running away from ***you are too scared to deal with. There is nothing NOT cowardly about that. For the ones who's say, suffering from cancer with no chance of recovering at the very painful stages, ok I can understand that, if ending your suffering is the way you want it I am in support of that- nothing is worse than watching someone you love slowly die.
All that being said, and the reason I quoted this- I'm going to hell for this... but... I can't help but think "Well, at least he went out with a bang"
[+]
Ramuh.Kimber
Serveur: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 14
By Ramuh.Kimber 2011-02-17 21:23:45
I can understand why many of you do not understand why people do what they do to end their own suffering. Everyone's tolerance for pain is different and the way they handle pain is different. Some people murder the cause of their pain and others murder themselves.
Many of them feel the same. Empty. There is nothing but emptiness. Sometimes it may be accompanied by pain and longing. There is a deep nagging feeling within all that emptiness. It is something you can not know unless you have been there, in that place, all alone with nothing but that deep empty. Every thought echos within it, only furthering the suffering.
For some people they suffer like this for years, for others the process happens in a blink of an eye. There is no way to know as the outside person looking in when it started, who or what was the cause. For those left behind it is a terrible mystery that they will never truly find an answer to.
Serveur: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2595
By Bismarck.Elanabelle 2011-02-17 23:59:03
Ramuh.Kimber said: I can understand why many of you do not understand why people do what they do to end their own suffering. Everyone's tolerance for pain is different and the way they handle pain is different. Some people murder the cause of their pain and others murder themselves.
Many of them feel the same. Empty. There is nothing but emptiness. Sometimes it may be accompanied by pain and longing. There is a deep nagging feeling within all that emptiness. It is something you can not know unless you have been there, in that place, all alone with nothing but that deep empty. Every thought echos within it, only furthering the suffering.
For some people they suffer like this for years, for others the process happens in a blink of an eye. There is no way to know as the outside person looking in when it started, who or what was the cause. For those left behind it is a terrible mystery that they will never truly find an answer to.
This is all true.
However, there absolutely is help available for people who are depressed or suicidal. Real, effective help. If someone doesn't have the will to seek available help, then I do call that person a selfish coward.
I'm not saying pain isn't real. And I am NOT someone who would say/think "suck it up, Sally" to a depressed person. Mental health is a real issue. I acknowledge and fully respect that.
But ending one's own life is horribly selfish. No matter how empty someone feels inside, there is always some type of hope, and some type of help available. Leaving behind your parents, kids, siblings, and friends to mourn and grieve and endure the emotional trauma of your suicide is a cowardly act.
I get that some people here don't agree. But that's where I stand.
[+]
By Raborn 2011-02-18 00:39:53
It's cowardly to me.
And I'll tell you why,
What is scary about death? Does it really take a strong person to pull a trigger, to run away? To escape a trial? TO GIVE UP? I've faced death one too many times to know its true face. It's harder to live than it is to be dead. No matter what your religion is: Imagine what it was like before your first memory on Earth in this thing we call life. Remember that nothing? No feeling, No pain, No consciousness? Sweet Nothing. I imagine thats what it would be like if there is no Heaven. Personally I believe in Heaven and a God, though sometimes I question if eternal consciousness is really a blessing at all.
Somehow I've been lucky and outlasted many friends.
Sometimes I feel like I'm actually the unlucky one to get stuck here living.
But there's three things I know for certain about life:
1- is that everyone gets to die, its promised to everyone at least once, there's no getting around it, fastest way to it is giving up.
"Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you'll be right. ~H.H. "Breaker" Morant"
2- is that no one is guaranteed tomorrow.
"Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you. ~Annie Dillard"
3- is that today you are alive.
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. ~KFP"
I appreciate all the serious posts, I do respect each individuals opinions on this matter. The above are my own opinions in response to what I've read.
I understand this is a deep subject matter and would again like to thank those who were willing and able to share their stories. My sympathies to those who have lost and will continue to lose people close to them to such a selfish act.
(Seppuku was practiced mainly before and shortly after the Feudal Era in Japan, it also goes by other names in other eastern cultures with slightly different methods. It is now however frowned upon in Eastern Cultures.)
[+]
Serveur: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 19919
By Asura.Chuuuuu 2011-02-18 01:23:02
Pandemonium.Spicyryan said:
I am waiting on the airship to Kazham (yes, I rather wait than run through the Jungle, even if I know the way) to go get something there. It has a glorious 10 minutes so I figured I go find something to do for that time. I have not kept up with this thread since I have no reason to being topic banned and all, but I figure I type this up and go find someone to put it in while I wait on this ship.
Bismarck.Elanabelle said: But ending one's own life is horribly selfish. No matter how empty someone feels inside, there is always some type of hope, and some type of help available. Leaving behind your parents, kids, siblings, and friends to mourn and grieve and endure the emotional trauma of your suicide is a cowardly act.
Here is my problem with the selfish thing, and I do not expect anyone to agree with it.
1) You are going to die anyway, and the sorrow from the people if they have not already left and cause you grief will be the same.
2) I believe people like to find something to blame their problems on, and if you died of some disease or accident it does not really do it for people. This however, fits the bill.
3) If you believe someone has the right to live as they see fit then why do you not believe someone has the right to end it as they see fit? While most people who commit suicide are in pain, not everyone is.
To me I find it just as selfish for people to say "no you can not die I am too attached to you, and my pain matters you selfish selfish person."
I find life something to celebrate and I find death something worthy of celebration too as life is finite and death is the end of ones awe inspiring journey.
I could go on about the cowardly thing too, but meh.
Fenrir.Mankey
Serveur: Fenrir
Game: FFXI
Posts: 1323
By Fenrir.Mankey 2011-02-18 01:38:46
Pandemonium.Spicyryan said: Fantasizing about ones death is a very natural thing to do.
Just thought I throw that one in there. Missed this, but its truthful, "Fantasizing" might be a over exaggeration though.
Recently had a friend commit suicide, Valentine's Day to be exact.
What's the deal with our youth today?
Is it really that bad?
What causes us to mentally cock block ourselves into believing we can't escape the way we currently live?
What makes us believe things will never change or get better?
Personally I'm just plain tired of this. I'm fed the fuck up with it.
So give me your thoughts on suicide / experiences with people who have died on you and how it impacted you.
Personally I'm pretty shook up by it, his parents and sister are devastated. His niece and nephew are too young to understand at this point but will be impacted by it.
Why take everything you have when all you and those around you have is to lose?
|
|
