Deepest, Darkest FFXI Confessions, Let's Go!

I no longer play, but was recently asked to return. I mulled over everything, but couldn't get myself psyched up enough to really "go back in". I walked away 8ish years ago, and while I am incredibly greatful for the journey FFXI provided, it's also something, at least for me, that is better left as nastalgia.

That said, I have some confessions to make.

1) I once trolled the forums with a GEO/BLU supertank "exploit" video where I started singing "in a hurry and dont know why" while standing still getting my *** beat. The tanking was real, but there was no real trick or exploit involved whatsoever. It was just meant in fun and pretty obviously so. Barrier / wilt / cocoon is stupidly strong in places like reisenjima where other augments are also contributing from the zone, to the point where VT enemies will hit for zero with a decent DT set. That's not the interesting part. The interesting part is some *** finagled his way into our discord HELL BENT on "getting details on the exploit". I gave him a little friendly banter, which upset him greatly, and when I told him it was "just a goof", he pushed even harder because he was then even MORE convinced I was just covering up some secret spell interaction. Takes all kinds, I suppose. I'm sorry.

2) I had recordings of drops for every item from the lilith fight except the body. These were long-winded sessions where I'd go in solo, take off all my gear prior to entry, re-equip, and wait until the last minute, and then kill. I could not get the body to drop because it was the last few days of my final subscription and could only sqeeze a few fights in, so I couldn't see it to fruition. The idea, or hope for the troll, was that everyone would be AFK in the lilith fight solo on the easiest setting to increase odds of "thier own drops" by waiting until the final seconds of the fight. The additional hope was that, outside, we would get visual confirmation via a sea of naked people who cannot get in because there is a slot limit and everyone is taking the maximum half-hour on easy-mode setting. The old troll soul within me still regrets not seeing that through ^^. While I did not technically commit the sin, I was trying to... and for that I'm sorry.

3) Back in the day, Colibri camps were a thing. They reflect spells, but they do so by first "storing" them. They can store up to 3 at the same time, and a fourth would overwrite the first.
If you brought a BST and a BLM, you could AOE nuke the colibri with your strongest spells twice, then aoe sleep it, and charm it and release it to "reset hate". Upon releasing the colibri, it would retain the spells in it's memory. If you do this to enough colibri in a colibri camp (easy do to since charm is involved and you can pull them away), you can essentially create the most gorgeous party-slaughtering deathtraps. They will dump all three spells rapid fire to any unfortunate group that pulls them. Nin tanks were big back then, so shadows getting wiped 3 times in a row pretty much guaranteed a death, with the benefit of very often it ending with the support getting "slept" through it all. It was a pretty normal way for us to end the evening in FFXI back then. I'm sorry.

4) Butter crystals. I once convinced a day-one player that he could obtain butter crystals from butter elementals in the plains, and I'd be willing to pay top gil for as many butter crystals as he could get so I could skill up my cooking (homage to the old ffxi cookie video). I didn't think much of it until many hours later he messaged me, frustrated and at wits end, after camping for hours all he was able to obtain were water crystals, which unfortunately I just wasn't interested in buying. I'm sorry.

Thank you for hearing an old man's FFXI confessions.

I didnt see any mention of orgies between humes and mihras, satanistic ritual sacrificing tarutarus, traffic of galkas slaves between linkshells or S&M sessions with elvaans using latex yet.

I could tell you stories, but they'd probably be allegedly illegal.

I am pretty sure I've done all these, except the orgy wasn't done with Mithra but tarus, which were sacrificed after.

I tried to remember the story details to entertain the readers but failed.

Who wiped my memory?

it lost art! the drunk dragoon working on reiving it!

I know it's hard to tell because they have no knees but.... They are all adults.

Panta, you have been deceived by their innocent look.

Thats the same logic applied by animes that use those popular “witches with 1000 years, but with body of underaged girl”, that constantly do fan service and engage in ecchi content.

Yes. SE knew there is a market for this kink, so they designed tarus for this. Can't blame me for taking the chances!

Tarus are just to make armor look cute/stupid depending on your POV.

Mithras are the fan service.

When adventuring fellows came out, I knew there was a long line to kill the NM.

I popped a prism powder and went to the ??? In the dungeon and bypassed the line.

I killed the prism powder and said "{Connection Lost} ??? {Can I have it?}"

They let me pop the NM and I was in and out of there in 5 minutes.

I bet it was my own parties. They had to hear the sfx of sheathing and unsheating my polearm every 3 seconds and it was pretty annoying even for me. Most of them didn't even know what or why I was doing it, and many of them doubted what I was doing was even effective.

Mithra are obvious fan service for men, but women also overwhelmingly love them for that same reason. Overwhelming number of women that played, picked mithra or taru.

Saw the same with WoW. I remember the devs noted that almost all women playing were alliance, becasue they had no pretty female characters on horde. Which is why they added blood elves in skimpy underwear, doing that solved the problem and far more women played horde after that.

Women in mmorpgs:

Fan service female character / Ridiculously cute smoll character = I will now play your game.

Women like pretty things, shocker I know


But theres always one outlier: pugs and frenchies. They love those hideous dogs for some reason.

god help this thread

Look, it's smiling! ;D

Prob cuz u invited it to the orgy with the tarus

I play with people that full time lockstyle subligars.

There's no accounting for bad taste.

Still miles better than the Video Games Sucks thread.

Caught it!

A terrible meme from Panta!


Mwhahahahaha finally!!!! The feel of revenge! ;D

I actually thought this one was very funny tbf.

But i suppose not everyone has the same high quality taste for jokes like I have.

I used to style lock just a Dashing Subligar and O.hat in Sortie from time to time, just so everyone else had to look at it. There's just something triggering about a mithra in yellow striped subligar with a pointy hat on named "Iamaman".

Hey, I get it.

I used to follow Iron Eater back and forth down in Port Jeuno with no top on whenever I wanted to sell anything.

Worked like a charm. Female in game, not out of game. Not a confession, I regret nothing.

Got a ton of nasty *** shaming tells though. Made me laugh.

I like subligar bombing people's twitch streams.

Scorpion Harness, Red Panties, WAR AF Boots, and an armaret to cover my face as a male elvaan.

I was introduced to this game at a young age by my older brother. When I was around ten or eleven I was partied with another taru in Ronfaure when this mithra showed up and asked that us two tarus performed certain actions with our "tarutaru poles". At the time I didn't fully understand what they were implying but I understood enough to tell them something along the line of "there could be kids playing this game, watch what you say" and never heard from that mithra again and I don't remember any of the names involved.

Every now and then I'll be reminded of this interaction and laugh to myself. The day I was almost groomed in FFXI.

Youre lucky its a mithra.

If it was a Galka, you surely could call the cops