Final Fantasy XI - Red like Ferrari (FFXI, FF11, FFXIRLF) is a revolutionary MMORPG from Square'anux. Released in 2002 Final Fantasy XI has since become the dominant game on the MMORPG market. Final Fantasy XI is Squenux's flagship game to promote their 'Gaming together on any console ever made... ever' ideal, FFXI being the first game to run on any console ever made in the history of mankind. FFXI is sited as the main reason world of warcraft failed to ever gain a substantial player base, as FFXI was just too damn awesome.
Contents
1. Story
Your a character who starts out in Vana' Diel and you must rank up do tons of missions and pull out all your hair completing CoP Missions because they're ridiculously hard but it all works out in the end!
Game play
Upon 'logging on' to FFXI, the player is confronted by TaruTaru Morpheous and given the choice of the Blue Pill or the Red Pill, when the player picks the Blue pill they are directed to FFXIs main server for play and forget about the Real World. Picking the Red Pill glitches the game into reloading the log on page, having the player once again confronted by TaruTaru Morpheous. Squenux has stated they are 'looking into the problem'.
Jobs
Standard Jobs
Warrior
Warrior is said to be the most complex job of FFXI. Warriors have a multitude of offensive and defensive techniques such as Defender, which lowers attack yet raises defense, and Berserk, a move that raises attack but lowers defense. These two moves are often cleverly combined to do nothing at all. In a party the Warrior's main job is to hit monsters with large swords so that they look all uber like Cloud. Once, it was believed that this job should not be used beyond level 30 due to the availability of advanced jobs. However, in recent times it has been discovered that a Warrior who dual-wields axes who is actually levelled past 30 will eventually learn the weaponskill Rampage, which makes all other weaponskills so obsolete that the other damage dealer jobs are now primarily seen seen drinking themselves into a stupor in the Merry Minstral in Jeuno, ranting about the good old days.
White Wimps
As white is the color of innocence, it is ironic that white wimps on FFXI are whores. A white wimp's main role in life (should that be game?) is to accept money off strangers so that they may take them to the middle of nowhere then run away; this is called tele-whoreing. White wimps do occasionally use other spells apart from the teleports; these spells are called 'Cures'. However, these spells are rarely used as every job in the game must sub Ninja, as we all know using MP to heal people is a waste of MP.
Black Mages
Black Mages control Mother Nature. Your plants a tad dry? Well, a Black Mage will turn on the water using the spell 'Water' and give them a good drink. This job has recently gone the way of the dinosaur due to every monster in the game having been given the trait 'auto-reflect'.
Red Mages
Red Mages are the transvestites of FFXI, they are people who can't make up their mind. Should I be a White Mage? Should I be a Black Mage? Should I be a Warrior? I think I like men and women? All these thoughts lead people to be Red Mages. White Wimps are not the only whores in ffxi. Red Mages derive their name from the areas they spend time in, as many people who play this job are seen in the red light district of Jeuno, 'refreshing' people (thus called refresh whores.) After an extreamly good few hours of 'refreshing' people in parties some lucky Red Mages recive their client's Pimp Hat and proudly wear it to show off to newbies. Gotta love the pimp hat...
Monk
Monk is the job for people who don't actually have time to play an MMORPG. The Monk's ability to deal just enough damage not to take hate if they just auto-attack and do nothing else means that a player can engage a mob, go AFK to do something, and only return every five minutes or so to see whether the current mob is dead and they have to hit auto-attack on the new one.
Thief
Thief is the job for people who hate everyone. Unfortunately, thieves cannot pop out of the bushes and tell another player, "Gimmie your GP or your HP, beeyotch!" as thieves can only steal items from mobs. The chance at actually stealing anything of any value is phenomonally low, not only because most mobs are broke, but unemployed. Also, the recast time for "Steal" is way too high, or at least high enough to make even the most industrious thieves seem like slackers. They do get a neat passive ability called "Treasure Hunter" which allows thieves to acquire rarer items at a marginally accelerated rate. All in all, thieves do the most damage from behind, a trick they are taught at level 5 by doing a side quest for the Duke of Jeuno, Snoop Doggy Dogg. Thieves are only good at DD (damage dealing, not dumpster-diving) if they have someone to tank the mob, so they can attack from behind like pansies. They can use the ability 'flee' to run twice as fast for 15 seconds, which is just enough time to run from one mob that would kill you in ten seconds into another one.
