ARG! Who am I even kidding? I don't want a baby! I just want to want a baby!
I never wanted one, then my husband's grandmother died and I felt so bad that she died before we had a kid because she loved kids so much, so I was all "Oh snap we better have one before anyone else can escape" but that's the worst ever reason for wanting a kid, and I still don't want one anyways. Also I'm getting old, if I'm going to have one it needs to be soon, but I just don't even care. MEH.
But I've been trying to want one, looking at babies so I can think they are cute or something, and it's just not happening. I look at these:
And do I think the kid is cute? Meh. I think the dogs are cute! OH YES!
And then this morning before we all got up today, we were snuggling. Me, my husband, our two dogs, just being still and I was 100% content, and I realized I don't want our family to change at all. I'm happy without a baby.
So it has come to my attention and I have concluded that I am a selfish old lady who would rather deny my older relatives the grandchild they want in order to keep my life how I like it. Bah humbug.
Why can't I make myself want a baby? ;;
I even held my brand spanking new niece in the hospital. She's cute and I love her, but it did nothing as far as making me want one. If holding a new one doesn't force the biological clock, what will?