Same problem, and yet to find any sort of lotion or jelly that does anything more than temporarily relieve the problem. In fact, I have this theory that generally, lotions only make it worse over time.
I used to have chronic chapped lips and yet I used chapstick all the time. What I came to suspect was using oil heavy products actually ends up drying your lips out for 2 reasons: a) oil rich environment encourages less natural oil production, and b) oil saturation kills cells so no healing actually takes place.
And wouldn't it be the grandest gimmick? Sell people crap that actually causes their problem that they're buying your product to solve. This is all of course just theory, I'm no dermatologist. But I did manage to kick the chapstick habit by switching to an all natural beeswax based alternative, and then only used it sparingly. I do on occasion still get chapped lips but it's a quickly passing phase as long as I stick it out and don't go get some petroleum and "apply liberally".
Back to hands. Reapplying the same theory, I've basically kept away from oil based products as they do nothing in the long run but leave me with dry cracked hands as soon as I stop using them (or as soon as I want my hands not to be greasy). Also, it doesn't take dawn and hot water to dry out your hands: generally hot water alone is enough, soap will just aggravate the problem. Use mild soap, preferably bar soap as liquid soaps are actually detergents, and wash with cold water unless you really need your hands super free of bacteria. Try to keep from washing your hands unnecessarily, and keep the water temperature as low as possible in the shower. Also, wear gloves! This might be an obvious in colder places, but I'm in a kind of moderate place with long hot summers and short cold winters, so gloves aren't necessarily something people have here when you can easily "tough it out".
Been following the above regimen a couple years now and my right hand has slightly "broken out" for the last day (probably washed it too hard once or twice) but oddly enough, my left hand is looking super. I suspect the right will calm down in a few days as long as I don't aggravate it further, but evidence enough (for me, at least) that slight variations in behavior do make a world of difference. Wish I could take a pic actually because it looks like 2 different peoples hands, but I only have a shitty cell camera.